Food 5 - Strange Canadians

Some Canadians are strange people.

Recently, a well-known hamburger restaurant was built opposite my home.  This Sunday morning, at 8:30 am, it is cold, dark, and pouring with rain.  As I sit by the window having my breakfast, I gaze across the street and notice a few cars driving into the restaurant car park.  My initial reaction is, even though it is pouring with rain, the restaurant does have egg & sausage burgers on the menu, but I am still curious why anyone would want to go out for breakfast so early, and in such terrible weather.  I decide that it has become a habit to go out for breakfast every Sunday morning.

Now wait.  I have noticed that nobody (Absolutely nobody) is going into the restaurant.  Everyone is queueing up at the DriveThru (sic) for takeaway.  Then driving, in the rain, to ... who knows where?

Some Canadians are strange people.

Travel 2 - An Introduction To China

Before leaving Canada for an interesting life in China I knew virtually nothing about the geography or the culture of that country.  Having enjoyed the privilege of years of foreign travel where ‘virtually nothing’ seemed quite normal but, anyway, never caused any disasters, it is very important that you be aware that visiting China requires a little preparation ... to say the least.

There are a vast number of books describing the geography, culture, and history, not to mention the obvious travel books.  Therefore, I should point out that this ambiguous title is not an introduction for you, but a short description of my introduction to China.

Travel around Europe or North America can be very undemanding, even when you are not multi-lingual.  Thus, I was in for a rude awakening, because I was not prepared for my hurried visit to the Middle Kingdom.  I had heard of Sichuan, my first destination (Spicy food) but not of Yunnan, my final destination.  I had learnt to say;  Nín hăo (Hello), Zàijàn (Goodbye), and Xièxiè (Thank you), but when I discovered that I could say “How are you” in English which would be met with the immediate response, “I’m fine, and you”, little did I know that they were unlikely to be able to communicate further due to their rote system of learning.  Their convulsive giggles hidden by a hand as a sign of embarrassment, is one of my most endearing memories of these people.

Therefore, if your aim is to be a diligent tourist and not a follower of the shepherd waving a brightly covered umbrella, an iPod with integral GPS and translation applications is quite worthwhile.

An alternative, is to stand on a street corner continually looking at a guidebook and wait a few seconds for some young students to politely ask if they could be your guide and interpreter for the day.  Never be afraid of this approach as language students are very eager to perfect their English, resulting from the extreme difficulty in succeeding at university entrance exams.  If you invite them to spend the day with you they will think that they have died and gone to heaven ... you may even become the subject of their next dissertation. 

Kunming, Yunnan Province

Should you not be a 5-star tourist, but intend to remain for months (If not years) then, you will need to find an apartment.  For this, you should definitely seek the assistance of a good honest interpreter, who would be able to negotiate on your behalf before the landlord is aware that you are a very wealthy foreigner (Aren’t we all).

Once settled into your apartment, do not be surprised if you find cockroaches in the kitchen and, if it is an old part of town ... rats.  This is quite normal ... and they are fairly tame.

Lijiang, Yunnan Province

After a while, you will want to wean yourself away from KFC and become more ethnic by visiting the steaming restaurants that seem to fill the bustling side streets.  Do not worry about eating dog meat because everything tastes the same anyway,  Nevertheless, I must warn you to be careful where you walk due to the incessant habit of everyone to spit on the floor.  All Chinese food in small local restaurants contains bones and, as it is considered rude to touch your mouth with the fingers, one naturally makes use of the floor.

When walking home, you may observe the green light on a pedestrian crossing.  You must regard this with great caution because it goes unseen by motorists ... they are listening for the police officer’s whistle.  But it is not quite that simple because the police officer may be blowing his whistle to a tune on an iPod ... which, nevertheless, appears to be equally effective.

That is a very brief, if not facetious, introduction to my years in China.  Any comments?

Food 4 - More Ruffled Feathers

Following on from last month, I have more points to make for the restaurant scene.  Firstly, we seem to have gone from minimalist to modernist creations.  Now, we can experiment with deep-fried ice cream or ice cream topped with bacon bits, and I hate to imagine what direction this will lead.  One restaurant, apparently, cooks a fried egg where the yolk and egg white are cooked separately, then, served together — it was explained that each item requires a different cooking time!

Yesterday, with the thought of minimalist creations on my mind, I ordered a Black Forrest Schnitzel at a Schnitzelfest event.  It was described as a veal cutlet topped with ham, white asparagus, and béchamel sauce.  As the enzymes in my stomach were discussing their hunger, I queried the availability of other vegetables.  To which the server responded in a very condescending tone, “Of course, there is a choice of potatoes and a variety of vegetables, sir.”  He left me to push my nose further into my glass of wine.  His name was Matt ... by the way.

The last sentence was written to alert Matt that this Blog is read, so far, in ten different countries.  Although it is difficult to believe, considering the few comments that it receives.

During a visit to the Caribbean recently, I noticed how easy it was to find bluefin tuna on the menu, a species close to extinction, and idiot customers responding by saying, “Well, it’s dead now, so pity to waste it.”

A Newsflash from Canada — The city of Toronto has banned the sale of real shark fin soup, and the Chinese community is infuriated.  I suppose that it spells the demise of the Chinese population because their virility will be in danger.  By the way Chinese people, black bears without gall bladders may also be in danger.

There is a useful item on the market for those of you who visit authentic Chinese restaurants.  It can scan Chinese characters of the menu and immediately translate them into English.  Someone tried it for me ... the dish was called, Phoenix on White Cloud.  Knowing the story of the phoenix, I assumed that the dish would be burnt and there would be a fried egg on top.

Finally, what is it about fresh-ground pepper that it seems hardly ever used by the chef.  Surely, if the chef’s creation needed fresh-ground pepper, he would have used it.  And if, according to my taste, some more is desirable, how would I know immediately the dish is placed in front of me.  One day, I shall ask the server to leave the grinder on the table ... even if his name is Matt.

Politics 6 - Israel/Canada

When I initially began this Blog site, it was not my intention to write about any one subject, e.g., Politics, more than once each month.  But reading the Canadian media this morning has annoyed me so much that my patience has disappeared.

I am referring to the behaviour of Mr. Baird, Canada’s Foreign Minister, at a committee meeting of the U.N.’s General Assembly yesterday, where he voted, No, together with only six other countries;  Israel, the United States and four small South Pacific island nations – Palau, Micronesia, the Marshall Islands and Nauru, for resolutions against Israel.

I doubt if anyone reading this could point to these islands on a map and, thus, we can be excused for any suspicious thoughts we may have for their behaviour.

It is especially annoying as we know that Canada’s, so-called, majority government only received one-third of the popular vote at the last election, and it seems to me, as I read the newspapers today, that many who did vote for this government are also expressing great disappointment today.

It amazed me that Mr. Baird could state, “This series of resolutions against Israel is generally one-sided, and unbalanced ...”  Does he not realize that the resolutions are “one-sided and unbalanced” because the rest of the world does not accept Israel’s terrorism.  Additionally, if both Russia and China would not abstain or veto against these resolutions, we should see a very different Middle East.

Mr. Bell, a former Canadian ambassador to Israel, Egypt and Jordan, said that it will affect the role Canada can play in the Middle East.  In the past, Israel asked Canada to intervene with Arab governments to moderate criticism. “I don’t think that would be possible today,” he said.  I agree.

Quotation - "Happiness ..."

John Barrymore

"Happiness sneaks in through a door 
you didn't know you left open."

Education 2 - Education Standards

It was not surprising, recently, to hear someone express concern regarding the job market as it related to the value of college degrees.  It seems that high school graduates are destined to fast-food employment because worthwhile jobs require a minimum of a Bachelor degree.

This made me wonder if, eventually, in order to obtain any worthwhile employment, a Doctorate would be necessary.  Does this seem like an extreme thought?

When I was in my teens, I do not remember knowing anyone with a university degree (Except my teachers ... and I sometimes doubted that).

Now, following a lifetime in the real world, it seems that almost everyone has been to university, yet, I often question the evidence of academic improvement.  I could suggest, on the whole, that the average I.Q. has risen but, equally, the rate of academic knowledge has slowed, if not reversed.

It would seem to me that the only answer is to reorganize school curriculums downwards by, for example, making high school examinations similar to today’s university degree.  Thus, making this new level mandatory.  I used the word ‘similar’ because, as previously stated, if there is a rise in student intelligence, this should also be reflected in an examination.

One should be reminded that one does not 'graduate' today until succeeding in three years of university study, suggesting to me that the graduate has only just reached an 'introductory' level.  A controversial suggestion, no doubt.

I suggest that a result of this modification to school curriculums shall not only produce more suitable job applicants, but finer teachers ... without extra costs.